My Babies are 3 months old

Suelyn and Kaelyn are 3 months old today! Adjusted gestational age is just 7 weeks. The story this morning....

Mei mei Kaelyn was sleeping peacefully on mummy's bed.


Che che Suelyn came and lie down beside mei mei.


Che che sayang mei mei...

Che che hug hug mei mei...

Che che finally sleep together beside mei mei.

Thank You Mom!

I never realise how difficult it is to be a mother until I become one. All those sleepless nights are killing me. Suddenly, my life changed 360 degrees and I almost could not take it. I cried many times and had all the symptoms of post-partum depression.

My Mum was there to support and encourage me all the time, throughout my pregnancy till now. There were times were during midnight, I slept like a pig, couldn't hear the babies crying as I really beh tahan and was too tired. But she was there to feed and burp the babies. The confinement lady that I hired really useless. Sleep and snore like a pig. Sometimes I shout loud loud also she cannot hear... I have to shake her to wake her up. NIAMAH CCB!! I hired her to sleep more than me and my mum!

Now I really heartache to see my Mum looking so tired each day and yet, she can still do all the house work and take care of babies. I feel so sorry and really don't know how to repay her. I told her how sorry I felt and all she says was she enjoy doing all these.

Today, I was at the padeatrician clinic and I was talking to another woman, whose mother also quit her job just to help her daughter with her newborn. She told us that taking care of 1 baby is already very tiring, she can't imagine taking care of 2 babies.

I really appreciate what my Mum is doing and really don't know how to repay her.

I Love You, MUMMY!

New Camera Lense

I dropped my DSLR camera and broke the Sigma lense. Today, I bought another 2 Canon lenses, a 55-250mm lense and a 50mm lense just to capture portrait.

Since Suelyn was wide awake this afternoon, I quickly took some pictures of her to test the lense. Here are some pictures of pretty Suelyn...

Baby Suelyn is Mommy's pretty baby ah...

Making Fun of Kaelyn

Today, baby Kaelyn refused to sleep in the evening. She was wide awake, got bored and started crying. She wants to be cuddled. So I decided to have some fun with her.

I placed my hair around her face to see how she look like with hair, and it turned out to be darn hilarious...

Baby K: "Mommy so bad... make fun of me like this."

Life in NICU

NICU – Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, the word often heard on tv series such as Private Practice and even Grey’s Anatomy. I read from books that it wasn’t a good sight in this unit. The first time I went into NICU, I was being pushed in a wheel chair by Hubby as my incision area was still a little painful. It wasn’t that scary afterall. But the moment I saw my twins, I could not help but cry. They were so tiny and yet, tubes were inserted at their mouth and hands. They must have cried during the insertion, they must have been in pain. For the first couple of days, a headbox was placed to supply them with more oxygen. I could see Kaelyn was breathing heavily, grasping for air with each breath due to her immature lungs.

Twin I - Suelyn

Kaelyn's reading


This is what NICU looks like

Headbox being placed for oxygen supply

Really heartache seeing my babies like this

Each day, the nurses will take some blood sample from them to test the bilirubin level for jaundice. They must be crying when blood was taken from their feet. The worse is when the bilirubin level was high enough to warrant a treatment. Their eyes will be bound and they will be placed under the photolight. My concern was the eye binder get loose, exposing their eyes to the dangerous rays. The nurses there had to take care of so many babies that there isn’t any special attention paid to any particular babies.

For the first 3 weeks of my confinement period, I went to the hospital on a daily basis and I could just sit there for 3-4 hours just looking at my babies. They are really fragile especially during the first week. I used to hold their tiny little hands and encourage them. I always tell them that Mummy love babies, babies have to be strong and very soon Mummy will be able to bring babies home. It hurts me very much when I see them smile at me and I cannot be there with them all the time.

My poor baby...

As days passed, baby Kaelyn was the first to be cup fed. They had to train her to swallow, before giving her the bottle for sucking. I was also there to breastfeed Kaelyn while Suelyn was still unable to be breastfed. I felt bad as Kaelyn took all the good stuffs. Even my expressed colostrum was all given to Kaelyn and Suelyn had none. I wonder if this is the reason she seems smaller and more fragile now, or if she thinks Mommy doesn’t care so much for her. Not true darling, Mommy care for both her precious babies.

Suelyn still able to put on a smiley face in the incubator

Kaelyn in the open incubator

Suelyn in the closed incubator

Kaelyn being cup fed

Me cuddling Kaelyn

Kaelyn was also the first to be promoted to the bassinet on day 12, where her body was put to test if she could maintain steady oxygen intake and able to maintain her body temperature. Suelyn only got on to the bassinet on day 18.

Kaelyn moved on to the bassinet on day 12

I bottle fed Kaelyn

Suelyn finally moved on to the bassinet on day 18


Both babies in the bassinet

After the long wait, both babies were finally discharged from NICU at the same day - on day 21. In fact, my fear was that Kaelyn will be discharged earlier than Suelyn. I hate to think that Suelyn will be left alone in NICU. Thank God doctor gave both of them a clean bill of health and they could both come home together. I was really happy but at the same time nervous, not knowing if they would do well at home or if I could do a good job taking care of them.

Things are going on pretty well. Here are pictures of my babies taken last week. Seems like they know that they are home and being pampered by everyone. They are getting naughty, sometimes, refusing to sleep at night.

Baby Suelyn

Baby Kaelyn

Suelyn & Kaelyn

My expensive babies. Each day, it cost us around RM1,500 per baby. They were there for 3 weeks. You do the math. I will keep all receipts to show them when they grow up. Anyway, all of us in the family thinks that it is just a small price to pay, as long as both of them return home healthy and good.

One Month Ago

A month ago, on 23rd April 2010, I so-called 'gave birth' (it was actually c-section) to my lovely twin daughters. I can never forget the journey on this day, and would love to share it with everyone.

The Early Morning

I was awaken by a nurse at 6am to get ready for the big day. I bathed, changed into the operation outfit, had my hair tucked into the operation cap, removed all foreign items and lie on my bed, waiting to be pushed into the next level. 2 nurses then came at about 7am and asked me if I was ready. As I was being transported from my room, I was praying for a smooth procedure. Hubby followed and I was starting to get nervous. First stop - anesthetic room.

The Epidural

I hurt my back a couple of years ago and the pain has always been there. The thought of having a needle injected into my spinal sends shivers down my spine. I was asked to sit up, hold on to a pillow and bend forward. It was quite a long procedure. I do not know what was being done behind me and I was only told that everything is going well. I could feel liquid dripping down my body - was it blood? I was so quiet that the anesthetist, Dr. Damo asked me to say something. I said: "I am shivering". I felt hot from my buttocks onwards and find it difficult to move my feet. The nurse and doctor moved me back onto the bed. I am now numb from waist down onwards.

I finally saw my hubby in a hospital attire and I knew he was cheering me up by asking me; "How do I look?". Then, the moment came. They pushed me into the operating theater and asked my hubby to wait in the anesthetic room.

The Operating Theater

Not a good place to be. Bright lights, cling-clang sounds of the equipments and I could see 2 incubator stations labelled "TWIN I" and "TWIN II". I was relieved to see my gynae, Dr. Raman and also Dr. Kiren there. As usual, doctor asked me how am I feeling. I could not answer. I am shivering more and more and I'm unsure if it's because I was cold, scared or was it the epidural effect.

The situation was getting tense for me. I thought they were starting to operate on me and shouted: "where's my husband?" Someone told me he will be in here soon, and he finally came and sat next to me. A drape was placed in front of me - however, I could see everything through the reflection from the operating lights above me. Dr. Raman was holding a scapel on my belly and shouted "Can you feel this, Aigie?". I closed my eyes and answered "Feel what? No."

JENG JENG JENG JENG!!!

It was so noisy in the operating theater as I was told there was an extra team there because of twins. Things happened so quickly. My hubby was holding me tight as I was shivering intensely. Then doctor told my husband "Ok come... it's time." My husband stood up and as doctor pulled TWIN I out from my cut-up womb, my hubby shouted "Baby ah!!!" I heard some suction sound and then.... the cries from my TWIN I. My baby was out! I cried! OMG! I cannot describe the feeling that I had when I heard her first cry. Very quickly, TWIN II was pulled out and I immediately felt my tummy flattened.. like 'wooshh'. Then, all I heard was baby cries in the operating theatre and noise of doctors doing something with me.

Baby Suelyn

Baby Kaelyn

I was looking around but could see nothing, only sound and noise all over. Through reflections, I could see doctor pulling out something from me... maybe it's the placenta, I'm not sure. I looked away from the graphic scene. Not knowing whats happening around me, I could see hubby running here and there as he was taking pictures.

Both babies were brought to me and the first thing being shown to me was their pet-pet - to confirm that they are girls. I was allowed to kiss my babies before they are being whisked away to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU).

In less than 1/2 hour, the entire procedure was over. My hubby followed the girls and I was left alone in the operating theater for the final touches. Dr. Damo gave me a shot that made me relax and reduced my shivering. 3 small cysts was being removed from my uterus at the same time. I was half asleep by this time and felt really good and relaxed. Should have given me that shot earlier!!

After I was all being stitched up, I was being brought into a 'rest' area where they monitored my temperature and blood pressure before sending me back to my room. I never saw my babies that day as I was too tired and unable to get off from the bed.

An unforgettable journey. Both babies spent 3 weeks in NICU and are now back at home, both doing well. More pictures available on FB and I will blog about life in NICU once I have time.

Only Mother Knows

I have stopped blogging for sometime, mainly because I felt lazy. I also didn't want to blog about my pregnancy just in case (tai kat lai si) if anything bad were to happened. See, I am carrying monoamniotic twins. They called it Momo twins (monochorionic, monoamniotic). A pregnancy so rare that it occurs like 1 in every 65,000 pregnancy. Both babies are in the same sac, and both umblical cords are in such close proximity. There are risks of cord entanglements and compression, which could be fatal.



The reason I write this today is just to express my feelings. I am now in week 24 of my pregnancy. Everyday, I could feel both my babies moving inside me. Sometimes, I will gently tap on my belly and they will respond with some kicking and punching. It's so, so amazing. I cried sometimes feeling them and I guess only a mother knows how it feels to be feeling them inside.

So it makes me wonder... some people can be so disrespectful to their parents. Some don't even bother to visit home. I just wonder... how sad can a mother be, when she recalled the happy times when this child was moving inside her, and only to have such an attitude after they grow up, spread their wings and fly, not looking back. Sad, isn't it?

Will be visiting my gynae tomorrow and I pray that everything will be fine. I have 10 more weeks to go before they reach 34 weeks gestation, which is considered full term for momo twins. PLEASE, PLEASE, let them make it through another 10 weeks smoothly without any issues.

My High Risk Pregnancy

I don't intend to blog about my pregnancy but I just felt extremely sad today. I went for my gynae visit, it was my second gynae. I am carrying twins, but they are monoamniotic twins. Which means, both babies in the same amniotic sac, making it super high risk and very low chances of survival. Am not sure if I want to get a third opinion from another doctor.



Sometimes, I don't understand why God gave us this beautiful gift but then it comes with so many problems. There is nothing I can do about this than to pray and be prepared for the worse.

Blogging Takes a Break

** I am currently occupied with something important in my life. Will be back when the time is right. **

Ningxia and Inner Mongolia - Oct 2009

During the October holidays, we joined CCC (China Culture Center) for a 3D2N trip to Ningxia and Inner Mongolia. The day started on 3^rd Oct, where we woke up at 5am and got to the airport around 6am+. The journey to Yinchuan, the capital city of Ningxia took 1.5 hours.

We reached Yinchuan at 10am and our first destination was the ‘Water Cave Gully’ (水洞沟). It was at this place where some foreign archaeologist discovered some dinosaur fossils.

Here, we explored the ruins of the Ming Great Wall made of clay soil and it was used to defend against the Mongols.

We then took a boat ride across the lake where we then ‘boarded’ some donkey carts until we reached an ‘interchange’ and took another camel ride towards the ancient war tunnel.

This is the pathway towards the ancient war tunnels. It is a labyrinth like underground tunnel system where it used to be an army base during the Ming dynasty. It was amazing how they managed to built such a huge underground tunnel and we could see skeletal remains of enemies down in the underground trap.

Hubby walking out from the underground tunnel. It was nice sunny, cool day with beautiful blue sky.

After a late lunch, we headed to Inner Mongolia towards the Tengger Desert. To enter into the middle of the desert oasis, we took a jeep ride. This is truly a live roller coaster ride where the jeep drove up and down the sand dunes at high speed. It was challenging and we really need strong arms to hold on. It was so bumpy and fun during the first 15 minutes, but towards the end of the journey, I almost puke!

When we reached the hotel, we were greeted by the locals who presented us with a welcome scarf, sort of like a tradition thing.

This was our hotel.

It was about 7pm by the time we checked into our rooms and we decided to walk to the Moon Lake situated behind the hotel. This place was infested with mosquitoes at this time and the mosquitoes repellent was useless!! We couldn’t take it and ran back to the hotel. It was terrible! Anyway, I managed to snap a few pictures.

These are some of the camps outside the hotels. It must have been an experience for those who stayed there but unfortunately, it wasn't not part of our itinerary.

We woke up early on day 2 for breakfast and headed for a camel ride across the Tengger Desert to the Sun Lake.

The initial 15 minutes ride was fun, but then I started to get bored as we were riding non-stop for more than an hour. I ended up with a sore buttocks… not easy ok! You gotta balance your body well when the camels are going uphill and downhill and it was not a smooth ride. Camel rides are really bumpy!

Took a couple of pictures of the dessert. The view was surreal and I thought I could only see them on screen savers or computer wallpaper. Couldn’t believe I was there. What a great experience!

This is one of my favourite pic. Dear Hubby walking alone in the middle of the desert.

We returned to the hotel by jeep (can't take another camel ride) and took the boat across the Moon Lake where they have a resort like area full of activities.

After lunch, we checked out from the hotel and left Inner Mongolia. We went back to Ningxia to the Xixia Tomb site where the Western Xia emperors were buried. These tombs were also nicknamed 'Oriental Pyramid'. Hundreds of such tombs lie within this area.

We headed back to Yinchuan and had a muslim dinner near the city's Bell Tower.

On day 3, we headed to Mount Helan where thousands of ancient palaeolithic carvings where found. The sky in this area was eerie... with streaks of clouds.

Here are few of the wall carvings. These are not replicas, they are the originals.

Another carvings of deer and deer hunting. Take a closer look...

There were also ancient Ming Dynasty carvings on these walls, showing that they were also trying to interpret the ancient wall carvings.

Another area with loads of carvings...

Souvenirs at the bottom of Mount Helan. We bought a carving replica decorative.

Our last stop was the nearby twin pagodas of Baisikou. Took a couple of pictures here as the sky was really beautiful. I was glad that we had clear blue skies on all 3 days of the tour.

I was glad that we joined this tour. Me and Hubby had great fun! It was truly an experience for us... all the camel rides, donkey cart rides, jeep rides, walking across the desert... it was something that we had never experience.